Month: December 2018

Forced reflection

I am terrible,

I am manifest…

I am the very worst

that one

can be.

I am this,

and more,

because time

is evil…

and time

is all

I have.

Fear me,

but no more

than I fear


Old elf


I’m holding onto Santa,

all 13 inches

of his animatronic self,

and I realize

i have no connection

with him….


I implore,

did I stop believing?





Santa, in a way, is like religion:

Nobody believes, anymore…

But everyone functions

as though we do……

It may be a fallacy,


does it function

for better,

or worse?

Merry Christmas.

Christmas, my boy.

I look at the face

of my six-year old son

and I’m overcome

by the saddest dichotomy…

I will not say

exactly what…

but the notion

that so much joy

and potential despair

lie within one tiny soul

drives me deep into melancholy;

safe passage,

I ask,

of the fates

when these thoughts mount

like so many thieves

looking to rob me

of my foundation.

I am not a productive soul,

but this beautiful boy

is my masterwork,

and i cannot contemplate

any path forward

wherein he does not

exceed me.