adrift

Self illuminating

Becalmed 

and rowing 

into these doldrums. 

Lost

but heading

to distant shore-lights….

They never grow closer,

these markers, 

these lights,

the lights

of pride. 

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Sin

So…

I don’t know why

it’s been so hard…

I only know

I’ve lost

something… here.

Christ!

Day-on-day

I try to conceal

my distaste

for my own life.

I’ve never said good-bye,

never lost ground…

never failed myself.

Now

looking down the barrel

of my own listlessness;

at my future.

Good god, where am I?